Wow, I can’t believe I carried this hunk of metal in my mouth for 11 years!

My tongue feels so weird, so light and unencumbered. And my mouth doesn’t make clicky clacky noises anymore either!

I’ll miss you, little toy I used to play with in my mouth. I’ll miss the ways I could pull you out and freak out all the good kids and my parents friends. I’ll miss all the times someone I just met started to categorize me as a certain type of person when they say the metal in my mouth. I’ll miss the random silly girls who were intrigued, and used is as a reason to throw game at me.

But most of all, I’ll miss it because it’s the last remnant of old teddy. The kid I once was, the sketchy, angry kid just trying to figure things out and getting in a lot of trouble along the way. Oh well. Time to grow up. I mean, I am in my 30’s after all.

Ouch.

Whoo-hoo!

I’m 30!

Whoo-hoo!

———————–

No, seriously, I’m really excited to finally be in my 30’s. Now, when I talk down to you and tell you all these sad stories about my life as if I’ve really been around, you might actually take me a little bit more seriously.

Whoo-hoo!

in that sad, sleep-deprived, procrastinating, end-is-in-sight, just trying to be chill mode, baby.

yes yes.

lots of weirdness happening slowly in this world:

• starting to officially get a little worried about my dissertation, even though I have another year to submit my proposal. Still got waaaaay too many ideas popping around, and waaaaay too many amazing and brilliant mentors suggesting all sorts of different things, and hmm . . .  should I use the research data that’s landed in my lap or go out and do my own thang? i dunno. But mark this. The first time I’m starting to get a little stressed about the dissertation.
• Stupid rockets. Gotta say it, the Jazz played a fine, fine game. And in a 7 game series, the best team always wins. I hate to say it, but 2 days later, and I’m joining the Fire Van Gundy bandwagon. Never thought I’d say it, but Yao and T-mac need a run-n-gun coach. Badly. Sometimes I wish they still made NBA Jam, I’d love to play big head mode with Yao and T-mac, going up against Alonzo Morning and Larry Johnson from Charlotte.
• Tick tick tick. Off to LA this weekend to officially start the wedding planning stuff. Oh yeah. Here we go!
• One paper left to write, and I’m finding it hard, hard, hard to concentrate and just do it. What’s up with me? How’d I get so easily distracted? Or rather, how’d I make it this far when I’m always so easily distracted.
• Notorius. Ready to Die’s been in my car’s CD player for over 3 months now, and I still can’t get enough. Dang, it if ain’t every couple years that I rediscover biggie. And it’s always a nice reminder to know that I’m older that he was when he died.
• Facebook. Suddenly, everyone’s all over facebook. Well, except for you, because you suck.
• I’m just gonna say it. Can I say it? Can I? Okay, here goes: Can we get someone else besides white girls interested in teaching? Please?
• Big summer plans, starting to swing into gear. LA this weekend, NYC for the 2 weekends after that, then school for June, then Indiana, NYC again, then a wedding in Maine followed by camping in Acadia National Park. Whoo-hoo! Soy excited. Kinda wanted to hit Oaxaca this summer, but that’ll have to wait.
• The fatness still creeps in. I don’t even wanna step on the scale anymore, cuz it’s shocking. Shocking the amount of weight I’ve gained in the last year. Yes yes, don’t stare. I am a fattee. Can you believe I ran a marathon just 3 months ago?

• 

• Listen to me. Listen. You gonna regret this if you don’t listen. You ain’t gonna find real love until you learn to love yourself. That’s the truth, babydoll. Believe it.
• Watching the Wire’s got me suddenly missing B-more. The crack rock, the murders, the aggressive panhandlers, the institutional segregation, the smell of Old Bay, the crab cakes, the humidity, the city devistated by white flight. Ahh . . . good ol’ Baltimore in the summer.
• So who’s running the baby race with me? Huh? I got 4 months til I’m 30, and I still plan on having 2 kids by then. Any challengers?
• Hey, check out this dope passport picture of me from 2002. I think I look pretty slick. Anna sez I look gay gay gay. I told her to stop being stereotyping and insensitive. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, right? But check out how much I’ve aged in 5 years. Wow, wrinkles, spare tire, it’s all falling apart.

• 

dig it.

back to NYC this weekend for a social justice in mathematics conference. I’m excited. Yet, kind of annoyed at how shoddily the whole planning of this conference has come together. But honestly, is it possible to pull anything off in NYC without having it look like it’s held together by tape and string?

Wanna see me in the big city? Hit me up? I’m only gonna be in town for the weekend, Thursday night until Monday afternoon.

But . . . me and the fiancee are rolling into town in mid-May. Just a quick heads up.

Oh, here’s another pic, ain’t we a scurry couple?

———————————————————

Much love to all those out there doing real things, showing real love, working for real change, and honestly looking deep into their hearts for the lessons we need to learn from Virginia Tech’s tragedy.

Within the sympathy, the candlelight vigils, the somber mood that academia’s taken, lies a deeper story of pain, unchecked mental illness, feelings of isolation, and systemic racism.

Or do I feel it harder, seeing another Asian-American male reinforce the stereotype of a misunderstood loner, isolating himself from the world and hiding in a self-delusional world of violence and vengeance?

Bah.

It’s late and my writing sucks.

oh, i’m a feelin funky tonight.

So so so, didja hear? My fiance moved to Austin 2 weeks ago.
Didja hear that? Did you hear that?

That’s the sound of me and her slowly, slowly becoming one of them annoyingly boring couples who you schedule brunch with a week in advance, or casually bump-into at the grocery store and make small talk while wondering why they’re buying so many carrots and jugs of soy milk.

Ahh, yes. Time for a full-fledged outing of good ol’ ridiculously boring, absurdly smiling, no longer answering your phone calls immediately, fat getting, weekend sleeping inning, watching sports center on the dl-ing, waiting around awkwardly at the door of the restaurant for everyone to finish using the restroom before we walk out and officially say, “hey, that was a great time. we should do this again”, relationship style teddy!

Whoo-hoo!

It’s good to be here.

Maybe I’ll go buy myself a new blazer. Yep, cuz that’s what yuppie cupples do! Or maybe I’ll cut little heart-shape designs into the back of my neck!

Ha ha! Honestly, I’m loving it. Loving it. I’m just shocked at how incredibly lame I am when I’m a boyfriend again. Oh, I mean a fiance.

——————————————–

whine, whine, whine. Seems like that’s all we ever duz around these parts, huh?

Let’s talk about something fun!

So, I know I’m like a year late on this. But that Lupe Fiasco, he’s pretty awesome, huh? Wow!

Oh, and those Rockets! Hoo-ha, clinching the playoffs yesterday! Wow!

And that show The Wire, which I finally got to see a couple episodes of. Wow!

Or my impending trip to Chicago, where I get to stay in a sketchy hostel! Woo!

And all the weddings that been popping off in March, like Leslie and Olivers, and Mo and Jasons, and Althea’s little sister who I always forget her name! Wee!

Or Grindhouse coming out this week, which the 19-year old film geek version of me who thought getting high and watching Russ Meyer and Jack Hill all night was almost like seeing God! Wah-wah!

Um, Georgetown! Woh! And, um, Florida! Wer! Oh, and um, St. John’s! (Oh, they didn’t have any sort of post-season. Harumph!)

Okay, that’s enough of this. Weh!

————————————-

Shout out to P, who’s doing great things with her life. It’s time to be single, and she’s doing it, doing it, and doing it well.  You’re living life the right way, girl.

So, I dunno if you know, but I ran a marathon a couple weeks ago.

Plus, I ran ran ran almost 20 minutes faster than last year.

Big ups to Alan and Vanessa who ran last year’s with me.

And much love to Mark and Megan who finished the last two miles with me this year.

To tell the truth, I felt great for this whole marathon. I even finished strong, speeding up for the last run, passing all the people around me and sprinting to the finish!

Part of it is the intense training I went through with Rogue (which also made me gain 15 pounds). And also the fact that it was a great day and the course finished in the UT/Downtown area, which led to a lot of familiarity.

Official chip finish time? 4:27.

How about that. Just 7 minutes off my A Goal.

——————————————-

Word up, word up.

Didja know my girl’s moving into town in 2 weeks? Didja know that I went vegan for 2 weeks before the marathon? Didja know that I’m no longer vegan and loving it?

Mmm . . . pizza, ice cream, cheese sticks, yogurt, feta, sour cream, real caramels, milk chocolate . . . . Ahh, I had no idea how much I missed ya.

Oh, btw didja know I’m engaged now? For those who haven’t gotten my hints.

teds

Chillin in NYC this weekend, ya know, the place to be.

Hey, is that my girl on the subway?

And what’s that on her hand anyway?

————————————–

 Aww, yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Hey hey! Been a while since I ground it up in here, huh?

Big things been going on.

First, I’m gonna be in NYC this weekend. Wanna come see me? Email me if you want. If not, me and my girl will be chillin at the ultra-grimy Subway Inn on Saturday night. Should be fun.

Second, we got 3 weeks till the marathon. I’m starting to taper this week. Yesterday I ran a 1:57 half-marathon, which made me really really happy cuz I was aiming for 2:03. But then I looked online and saw that I ran the Motive 2005 Half-marathon in 1:54. Wha? How was I so much faster last year. (Then I looked at my belly)

Thoid, my girl’s moving to Austin. Feels good to be in a great relationship, you know, it just feels so right. No drama, no games, nothing but fun.

But, but, but, let’s just see how this survives when it moves from a long-distance relationship to a real one. Ho ho!

4th, School’s getting intense. It’s not just about class anymore, it’s getting real. What are issues that need real political change, what’s happening to our kids that deserves realistic research, how do we fight through the bureacracy, misinformation, prejudices, and nonsense to get a real gage of where education needs to head in the next century?

And, where can I fit into it all? As a teacher? As a policy maker? As a researcher? As an administrator? As a social misfit? As some silly boy who just blogs all day?

Feeth, the tattoo’s coming along nicely. No pics this time, I’m 2 sessions away from finishing. But I’m taking a break until after the marathon, ya dig?

—-

Wow, my bloggin skills really suck, I’m outta practice on this. That’s what happens when you get a girl, sucka.

ho hum.

hard not to dwell on things that might of been, sometimes.

today’s always been a strange anniversary for me.

november 20.

(it’s my wedding anniversary)

but the marriage never worked out.

sometimes, you spend so much time looking forward, you forget what you’ve left behind.

would have been 5 years today.

wow.

sorry.

just teddy being sentimental.

Oh, by the way. Check out this random story I found. I’m in it! God bless google.

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