what a great Thanksgiving break!

I dig the whole Pacific Northwest. Seattle/Vancouver, both awesome cities. Especially because they’re full of all my cute little nieces and nephews!
Man, it makes me realize how fast time flies, suddenly all my cousins are having kids that are growing up growing up so fast. And I finally got to see some of them that I never have! Oh, it’s fun to hold babies, right? They’re so cute and fat, and the smell like . . . baby! Here’s some of the pics (notice, we only get to see them in that most utilitarian of meeting places, the Chinese restaurant),

Some other fun things:

Running in my Aunt E and Uncle G’s neighborhood in Bellevue, Washington. Absolutely stunning. I did some trail running in chilly chilly weather on Cougar Mountain (my uncle told me about how beautiful it was. Then turned to me slowly and said, “You know, there’s a reason they call it Cougar Mountain.”) Therefore, I had to explore it. Absolutely breathtaking. I wish I carried my camera when I jogged. Oh well. I realize why the area was once so densly populated by Native Americans. It’s just such an amazingly gourgeous place, full of natural fauna and character. Good thing we killed them all and made them open casinos!

A Thanksgiving meal consisting almost entirely of Vegetarian Dishes. I can’t believe my Aunt L, she made sure every dish, except for the turkey, was something I could eat. Man oh man, I loved it. I think I cleaned out about 3 or 4 dishes. Man, I’m sooooo used to loading up on junk like appetizers and bread at the Thanksgiving Meal, or bringing my own Tofurkey, or just plain, not being able to eat much. I was shocked to be so catered to. I love it. She even made a Mediterranean Filbert Nut Stuffing that I wish I could stuff down right now. Mmm . . .
Much love to Uncle F and Aunt L for making this the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve had since turning veg so so so long ago.

Running in Stanley Park, Vancouver. This park is at the Wester tip of the city, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I did the full run, about 10K, all oceanside beautiful. Wow. Something about that salty ocean air really makes me happy, makes me feel at home, you know? Once again, I wish I brought my camera. But lugging that thing around when you’re jogging just seems silly. Absolutely stunning views of British Columbia and the ocean, without that dead-fish smell that always seemed to permeate the East Coast. I loved it so much, I even jogged up to a posh ocean-front condo for sale to check out the sales price. Ouch, even in Canada, yuppie living is expensive.

My Aunt R took us to an amazing Shanghainese Dim Sum restaurant. I love this town, and especially going out to eat with my Uncle A and Aunt R. Every restaurant she takes us to, honestly, has some of the best Chinese food I’ve ever had in my life. And that’s no joke.
For those of you who know me well, I’ve eaten a whole lot of food all over the world. Like gorging for days, trying to suck up all the good food in Singapore, Beijing, Amsterdam, Portland, Guangzhou, Bangkok, and so many other great culinary cities. So, when I say Vancouver has the best Chinese food in all of North America, baby, that’s a bold, yet true statement. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself.

The best part about this place we went was that the owners were her good friends. She ordered a whole bunch of Vegetarian Shaghainese Dim Sum for me, like 9 dishes. And me and my sister ate them all!
Let’s see, we had the standard Scallion Pancake that were so moist and flaky. My favorite from childhood, the rice wrapped around fried cruller. Little Dragon Dumplings. Twice fried noodles. Rice cakes with greens. Pickled vegetable and fried tofu. Fried white radish cakes. Northern style noodles with mushroom. And many many other delicous dishes, some of which I’ve never seen before. It’s funny though, translating these Chinese dishes into English makes them seem so bland, right? All you out there who know exactly which dishes I’m talking about, your mouths are probably watering.
(Another teddy secret. My favorite style of food, hands down, gots to be Shanghainese. It just kills me that so much of it is pork or shrimp or even more pork. Having my Aunt take me to eat the gourmet stuff, vegetarian style, is the culmination of so many fantasies come true, it’s not even funny.)

Bo Kong Vegetarian restaurant in Richmond, British Columbia.
So, after 3 days of pure eating, we decided to head to Richmond (otherwise known as Hong Kong, Jr.), to scope some more great food. We randomly found a vegetarian restaurant that happened to be a gourmet Dim Sum place! Wow!
(Now, I know I know, those of you who know me, I’ve always complained about how much I can’t stand going out for Dim Sum. Well, really, it’s cause most Dim Sum is crap. And honestly, I can’t eat most of it. So, now you know, as much as I publically decry Dim Sum . . . secretly, it’s just cause I want some too . . . and only the good stuff.)
But this place was out of this world. No carts, everything is made to order like it shoule be. So we proceeded to order just about everything. Additionally, looking at the menu, me and my sister picked out a couple great entree dishes too.
Aaaah, all the classic Cantonese Dim Sum dishes. Soup Dumplings, Roasted Pork Buns, Fried Dumplings, Sticky Rice in Lotus Leaf, Spring Rolls, Fried Buns, Water Chestnut Cake and other random stuff. And baby, it was good. I couldn’t believe the level of the food . . . I felt like I was at a 4-star Hong Kong place, paying way too much, you know? Non-greasy, honestly delicious, meticulously crafted, flavorful Dim Sum. For those of you who only know the deep-fried heavy, standard cart-fare, I feel for you, I really do. You have no clue what you’re missing.

But I ate it all! Cleaned house, eating absolutely everything.
And here’s the clencher.
When we were paying the bill, the waitress leaned over and said, “You’re not from around here are you.” (okay, fine, she said it in Cantonese, I’m translating for you).
“Why do you ask?” said my Dad.
“Because you guys ordered so much food. Especially all the different kinds of dumplings.”
“Oh,” I said, “Well, the food was delicious.”
“In the kitchen, we didn’t expect you to finish all the food. I’m shocked that you ate it all! No one ever orders that much food and actually finishes it!,” she said.

Wow. That was embarrassing. It seems that Canada has never had a Teddy come up there and eat up all their food. It’s good to know that my international gluttony hasn’t faded. Mmmm.

Oh, and one last thing. After this giant meal (which, honestly, wasn’t that much food in my eyes), me and my sister went to the Asian grocery store and went crazy on the Japanese candy aisle. I tell ya, ever since Japan, I’ve had a Pocky-fix. But not the standard Chocolate or Strawberry Pocky. I dig the good stuff, like the Chocoloate-Banana Pocky, or the Green Tea Pocky, or the Roasted Sesame Pocky. And Crunky, my favorite brand of chocolate to eat and to shout out the name of. Don’t forget to get Crunky!

Oh oh oh.

teddy likes to eat.

love
the most powerful force in the universe.
———–

An amazing blessed life I live, I thank God for all the blessings he’s giving me. Sometimes, you stop and breathe deep and just want to thank God for the joy of being alive!
Yes, yes, this was a weekend of living.

1) First, I went on a date on Friday.
I won a bachelorette auction last week, and so I got to go on a date. A real date.
We went for a trendy Thai dinner and then the Symphony. Cool, huh? Just like they do on TV. And I gotta say, now that I’m 28, I’m slowly . . . ever so slowly, learning how to not be so shy around girls. It was pretty fun. That and we met up with some pals for some bar-hopping and late night diner fun. I didn’t get home until 5AM. Can you believe?
Wow, dates are kind of fun. Honest. I’d like to say this was like my 3rd date ever . . . but when I recollect the actualy amount of “dates” I’ve ever been on (and it only counts if the word ‘date’ was actually used to plan it out. you know, it’s all easy to go hang out with someone of the opposite sex all evening and have a fun time, but was that really a date? Nah, G. A date is actually asking, “Hey baby, you blow my mind. How about rollin with me on a date this Saturday. I’ll pick you up at 8.”) Yeah . . . so, I think it’s been . . . 7. Yep, this is the 7th date I’ve ever been on. And probably the best, well, except for that date with that one super-sexy girl who . . . I think I’m just gonna leave this story untold.

2) I ran a half-marathon this morning. And I did awesome! 8:45 per mile, well ahead of my expected 9:30 per mile pace. I finished the whole thing in 1:54:33. I couldn’t believe it! Don’t believe me? Here’s the results.
I really felt great too, I finished on a sprint and outran a whole bunch of people on the last mile. That was fun, to finish the race strong. I’m amazed at how much my time improved since my last race . . . something weird is going on . . .I’m actually getting faster! (the best part was, while I’m running, there’s so little to do but think about things in your head to keep from getting too bored, so I was calculating all the math in my head for my pace, and everytime I hit a mile marker with a clock, I would think . . . hmm, my math must be faulty, cuz I’m well ahead of schedule.)
Honest, I don’t mean to brag, but if I had finished this race at the same pace I normally run, I would have finished at about 2:12. That means I finished 17 minutes ahead of schedule . . . do you see why I’m so psyched?

3) IM is so fun . . . but I only do it sporadically. And I got to IM a really good friend of mine tonight, someone who’ll always be close to my heart. We had a little bit of an awkward situation, well, awkward for me, because I had a huge crush on her in 8th grade. Ha! But just talking tonight made me realize how special she is and how lucky I am to be able to call her my friend.
Romance, lust, affection, flirting . . . they always seem to interfere with real love, the true friendship. It’s taken me a long time to realize that I don’t have to flirt with every female friend to grow closer to them . . . sometimes, it just takes away from the deeper relationship that dwells within.

4) Oh, I also played in a tennis match where I killed this kid. I felt bad, he was younger and more inexperienced. And I tried to let him win a couple games too. But, in the end, he just beat himself. So I won, 6-0, 6-3. It got a little fun at the end. Part of me loves the winning, I’m really ultra-competetive at heart. But it’s even more fun to encourage and watch someone learn, and to help them get better. And I did that, even though I still walked away with the W.

5) Clubby club on 6th street. This is it. It’s been a meaningless streak. What is it now, 8 weekends that I’ve been in town that I end up at this horrible place, drinking stupid drinks, shouting over crappy music, and watching girls try to act sexy but usually looking skanky. And every weekend, I tell myself, that’s it! What a waste of my time! Silly, stupid, and just unnecessary.
Back in the olden days, when I was zooted all the time, this would be fun. But now?
(Well, actually, I did have an old school moment. We went to a slick, yuppiefied club that was playing hard-core house music. I mean, the stuff that’s pop-and-locking only, you know, real intense breaks, no filler. The place wasn’t too packed, the frat boys and girls weren’t around, probably cuz they weren’t playing booty shakin music . . . and, baby, I just got into the groove. It reminded me so much of the old rave days, you know? I cut loose, pulling out moves I hadn’t in years, realizing that I can throw liquid just as good at 28 as when I was 18, only minus the glow-sticks, hoodies, and giant pants. One of my pals even noticed, telling me that he can see a lot of the old bad boy in me.
Fun times, honest. But only in nostalgia. (And I find myself much more self-conscious on the dance floor when I’m not pumped full of acid or speed.)
Ahh, it’s good to be an old man, knowing you can still bring it when it counts, right?)

M to tha Teezy

—————————————
Bonus pic. Here’s me at Halloween 2000. Can you guess which one I am?
Funny, I don’t think I’ve aged very much in 5 years.
Okay, fine, maybe I have. I am certainly less red these days.

So someone told me I was a “charmer” today.

I know they meant it as a compliment, but everytime I hear those words, I kind of cringe. I don’t want to be known as a “charmer“. I think it implies some fakeness, that I’m a little too slick, a little too slippery, a little dishonest. Why does it bother me so much?

Maybe, because it’s a reminder of how fake I really am.
————————————–
Sunday.
Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Jean Grae, and Pharoah Monch!
Holy moly, what a dope show.

Except for one thing. Mos Def was a no show! He cancelled cause he was sick!
But they refunded 12 bones for every ticket, and the show still went on, with Talib Kweli playing an extra long set.

It was hot baby, so hot. And it’s good to see people my own age out and enjoying live hip-hop without acting too stupid, you know? No frat boy antics, no staring down, no frontin. Just mellow, stand around and sip your beer while listening to phat beats. I had a nice, chill time kicking it with my old school homeboy.

(also, i was talkin to a groovy, pretty girl who came in all the way from dallas to see Mos, and was all bummed out. what is it that brings out the giddy fan-boy in me? just talking to some random pretty girl for a couple minutes makes my day, i tell ya.)
———————————-
speaking of dope shows: this coming Thursday: Devin The Dude!
Holy moly, I’m excited. I feel like I missed this kid for the last 3 years because he was just a little too hot with the hipster kids . . . but I ferget, the hipsters always know what’s dope, huh? You just gotta look beyond their greasy hair and stupid trucker hats.
Man, I tells ya, with all this work I been sweating, I’m really bummed that every time I turn around, there’s a dope hip-hop show. I’m trying so hard to get into Nurd mode here in Austin, and it just don’t help.
I stayed up until 6AM last night, yes, that’s right, 6AM to finish work I didn’t finish this weekend because of all hanging out I did as opposed to homework.
Dang, and I found out that Cannibal Ox was in town on Sat! Man, I’m glad I didn’t hear about that, cuz then I woulda gotten absolutly nothing done this weekend.
—————————–
Speaking of emotions.
I tell you, there’s not a lot of things that I’ve learned in my 28 years.
But I have learned this:

always be ready for a girl’s random onset of emotions.

Honest, I wish I had known this when I was 17, it woulda saved me a whole buncha awkwardness.
——————
Speaking of jumping on long gone trends.
I’ve rediscovered Friendster.
I feel like I’ve been on Friendster for such a long time, but I never took it serious, you know? For years, I was listed as a female with a fake birthday, and I even found a picture of a random drunk Asian girl for my pic.
Last year, I finally decided to be real, and I realized . . . whoa, everybody’s on Friendster. What the heck, I totally missed out.
I had a bunch of random friends who would send me that silly email asking me if I was really their friend. And I realized, slowly, everybody’s got like tons and tons of friends. I got 26. Man, I feel like the fat kid who sits alone at lunch.

So, a while back, I actually sent out my first Friend request.
And tonight, I went crazy, I combed through and sent out bunches of request. (and by bunches, I mean 5!)
I found my sister (who had a bunch of my real friends listed as her friends, but they never bothered to ask me to be their friend. Harrumph!) and my friend in Singapore from Elementary School. Go go internet.

I joined the club, I became Friendster crazy, trying to get as many friends as I can!
——————–
But the jokes on me.
Seems, Friendster’s over, baby.
Check myspace, okcupid, and hi5 for where the kids are really at these day. And while you’re there, throw me some love so I won’t be so online lonely.

madteds

lots of thangs poppin in my head today.

1) It’s just a few week to Thanksgiving. And . . . I am . . . officially . . . behind! Yep, it didn’t take too long, but here I am, in that old familiar place. I’m behind on my homework and reading! Wow, I havn’t felt this feeling in a long time.
How’d this happen? I’ve been so on top of my game. And suddenly, I’m busy like a thunderstorm, you know?
Whenever people asked me how the Ph.D. was going, I would smartly quip, “Well, I’ve never done one before. So I don’t know really know.”

But now I know.

Yep, it’s not the cakewalk I thought. I’m working hard down here, baby. And I’m still falling behind.
That’s why all the grad students I always knew had baggy eyes, greasy hair, and never shaved, huh?
Uh-oh.
Please beat me down if I start to become super grad-student, with the unwashed clothing, permanently red eyes and pot belly.

2) The Star & Bucwild show’s coming to Austin!
Werd?
Yeah, I slowly became a big fan of this morning radio show over the last couple years. Personally, I really hate morning radio. It’s just so annoying and insipid, you know? And, initially, I wasn’t a fan of Star & Bucwild. But the more I listened, I realized that it wasn’t the same sophomoric crap. This is a cool show, straight outta the hip-hop vibe.
On my drive down from NYC to Texas with Stacy, I got a little angry cuz she wanted to listen to her morning radio show. And I was like, baby, I’m leaving NYC, I’m never gonna hear this show again! C’mon, lemme hear it one last time as we cruze through New Jeru. But whatever, she won that argument and we had to listen to rude and somewhat racist prank phone calls all morning.

Needless to say, we are no longer a couple.

3) Man, it’s weird not having a girl. I’m so awkard around people. I just have no frame of reference when I’m talking. I feel like all my stories now begin with one of the following:
a) Yeah, my ex used to . . .
b) Back when I used to smoke a lot of bud . . .
c) Man, back in Queens, . . .
d) I once had a girlfriend who . . .
e) That time I got arrested . . .

What’s up? Am I incapable of generating new stories and my own identity, without relying on the crutches of my past. Especially always mentioning an ex-girlfriend?

I dunno, I guess I just don’t know how to be single. I find myself flirting with girls without even realizing it. Or treating girls close to me like I’m supposed to treat a girlfriend and having to catch myself. Or accidentally checking out a co-worker without realizing it and hoping they didn’t notice, even though, I know dang well, all girls totally know when you’re checking them out.

Just strange. Maybe it’d make more sense if I was sad about not having a girl.
But I’m not, I really wanted so much to be single.
And here it is.
And I’m having a hard time dealing.

Oh well.
It’s what it is, kid.

3) So, I checked the best Chinese restaurant in Wichita Falls last night. Of course it was a buffet. And they had all my favorites from the olden days. Cheesy Zodiac placemats? Oh yeah. No chopsticks to be found anywhere? Oh course. Fortune Cookies? You bet. A big tub of duck sauce? Delish! Deep Fried Corn Poppers? Oh, so golden brown delicous. Big ol’ Sauce-dunked Ribs? Yes yes! The cream cheese fried wonton? Ooh, I had to have one. Bleh. And my favorite part? No other Asian customers. None!
The waitress came over and told me that they had a bet going on in the front over whether or not I was Chinese. The owner thought I wasn’t, cuz I was too tall. Ha ha!
Small town living’s pretty lonely, I learned. The owners and waitresses talked to me in Chinese for a loooong time as I was trying to leave. Talking to me like I’d known them for a while, you know? Telling me about local people that I’d get along with if I met, and the history of other local Chinese people. I asked the waitress, who was Vietnamese, if Wichita Falls had a big Vietnamese poplulation. She just stared at me, not really understanding my question. (I looked it up online. This town is 0.2% Asian. Yeah, note where that decimal is baby! I’m surprised I didn’t get the “You speak English very well” comment the whole time I was here.)

Wow. This is why whenever you meet an Asian kid who grew up in small town USA, they’re always a little weird, you know? Like, they got a chip on their shoulder or something for always having to be “The Chinese Kid” all their lives. It might be a cool life, I dunno. But I’m betting it probably sucks.

What do they those seedy Asian teens do when they feel that cheesy need to get decked out and go dance in a circle to New Order’s Bizarre Love Triangle? Huh? Wha? Poor kids. They don’t know true joy.

(Yeah, like growing up with a big Asian community and having to go check out crap like this was any better, right? Man, nothing says silent awkwardness than seeing your own friends have to compete in a swimsuit competition when the whole church is in the audience.)

4) I gained a couple pounds in Wichita Falls. Can you believe? I was only there for 3 days! (And when I say a couple . . . I mean 8.) It’s that darn frozen custard and pie, I tell ya. Oh, and the beer too. And maybe that pizza buffet.
And with the half-marathon rolling up next week, I gotta get back in it as soon as I can, ya hear?
I can’t believe I’m all worried about my weight right now. Is this what happens when I don’t have a girlfriend? I start acting like my old ones?

5) Apparently Texas hates Gay people. I had a long talk with my dad, who’s a minister, about this the other day. You know, I love Jesus as much as anyone. But I just don’t understand why so many Christians think it’s totally okay to discriminate against Gay people. It’s scary, you know? What are they so scared of?
My dad told me it was an issue of morality. Of avoiding ambiquity that could lead to scarier legislation down the line, things that might allow incest or other forms of abuse.
Really? A constitutional amendment was necessary to reinforce the morality of denying gay people a right that was already illegal in the state of Texas?
Being back here in the Lone Star, I’ve realized that I have to pick my fights. This one, that seems so black and white to me, was passed by a landslide! What the heck? Am I so different than everyone else?

Oh well.
That’s what I get for moving back to Texas.

Namaste, kids.
keep rockin it.

oh man, i can’t believe i didn’t bring my digital camera with me.

Moment of unbelievable tranquility at Lake Arrowhead State Park, up here in North Texas. Don’t believe that cheesy picture, it’s the only one I could find.

I love state parks. Here in Texas, they’re kind of hit or miss, but this was awesome. Unbelievable scene. I’ve never seen this side of Texas before. Marshy lake lands, with geese everywhere.

I miss going to good state parks, honestly. When I lived in B-more, I felt I was so spoiled. Gunpowder Falls was 45 minutes South. And that other great park 45 minutes North. Oh, what was it called again? The one that hit the C&O Canal at the end. You know, the one we brought a camera and a lot of mushrooms to that beautiful fall day and I spent an hour trying to record the sound of the water?

Oh well.

And living in Ithaca. Unbelievable. There’s a great park with natural outdoor swimming like everywhere you turn! Buttemilk Falls, oh my my what a wonderful place.

I guess this is what I missed out the most in NYC. Just being able to turn around and being in the middle of such natural beauty. Stunning.

so, i yelled at my ex on monday.
funny, we’ve become good friends again. I mean, we broke up a last May, so what’s that, 18 months now? It took a while to become cordial again.
But we’ve still got a biziness issue that’s unresolved and I just got so pissed at her for dropping the ball on it. I really let her have it. And when she tried to yell back, I hung up on her.

Jeez, what kind of rude jerk have I become? I think of myself as pretty laid back and unemotional. But, with her, I guess, all the emotions just came rolling up. I just let ‘em out again. I’m still a little miffed at her, just for being so . . . so . . . so . . . typical her. I knew she was going to forget to fax the document, that’s why I kept hounding her to do it. And of course, she didn’t. Of course not. I already knew that.
And it just makes me so angry, you know?

I really don’t get angry at all. I think this has been the only time I’ve really been argumentative in the last year! Even when Stacy and I broke up, I didn’t argue. I was just cool about it.

Argggh.

Oh well, I did apologize for the yelling. It’s just so untypical of me to get caught up in the moment. I faked it a lot when I had to deal with my students, who would act up or try to get a reaction out of me. I had to pretend to be really really angry and yell and scream, just so they knew they’d crossed the line. But . . . I was never really angry, it was all just an act.

But with her . . . man, I was just furious.

(on a side note, I did check her blog and read her interpretation of the incident. How’s that for narcissism?)
———————————

Wichita Falls.
I’m here for 4 days on a biz trip.
Wonderful place, I gotta say. I’m 15 miles from Oklahoma right now. I was considering driving up there tomorrow, just to say I’ve been to Oklahoma!
You know, I’ve always felt one of my God-given talents was to find where all the cool stuff was when I went traveling. I can always learn to navigate a city quickly and figure out it’s funky side. (except Houston, that crazy place).
Well, it’s usually easy to do in a small town. Like when I was in Shinjo, Japan. So easy to find the dopest bars . . . because there were only 3 in the town. Or so easy to find the best karaoke joint . . . they only had 2!
And here in Wichita Falls, it’s the same thang. Small town means finding the best stuff is a breeze. Just ask.
I’ve discovered an awesome diner called the Pumpjack. Holy moly, I actually ate my dinner there 2 nights in a row! They do everything authentic old school Southern. Icebox Chocolate Pie, frozen custard milkshakes, rich rich egg salads, chocolate sodas. Oh me oh my, I really dug this joint. That and they open late (well, they open until 10, which is really late for this town. Can you believe?)
Those of you who know me, know my fascination with good diners. Most are horrible. Especially for vegetarians. But if you can find a good one, it’s like striking gold, ain’t it?

Here’s some of my faves:
Pete’s Grill - Baltimore, Maryland. What a great place, especially for breakfast. Good food, cheap price, and you feel like you’re part of an extended family of working-class, hungry folk. I always came here after pulling an all nighter in college. It was my little treat for working so hard.
Veggie Diner - Union Square, NYC. R.I.P. My favorite thing to do was grab a booth and order a bacon cheeseburger deluxe. I just love ordering it and actually being able to eat it. Something about saying the words, “Gimme a bacon cheeseburger deluxe.” is just so therapeutic, isn’t it? I love being able to say it and mean it! This place was the king of vegetarian diners. Too bad it couldn’t survive in the hustle/bustle NYC restaurant world. Not that cheap though, I would routinely drop llike $20 a meal, cuz I was such a pig. That and they used to put my ex’s drawings on the wall.
Odessa’s - East Village, NYC. Great Ukranian diner I’ve been to way too many times. Not great food, but not horrible. The real reason I always end up there? It’s 24-hours. They’ve got a separate bar next door. And it’s located at 7th and Ave. A, right across from Topkins Square Park, the heart of my favorite hood, East Vill, baby. I always dig Ukranian food. Blintzes, cold borsht soup, pierogies, and latkes (which I got to introduce to a friend on Sunday). Oh so tasty. Oh so good. Especially after a night of drinking at Niagra across the street.
Clinton Hill Diner - Fort Greene, Brooklyn. For a while, I was here every Sunday morning, reading through the NYTimes and eating something ridiculous for breakfast, like Fish Cakes w/Spagetti or Jalapeno Poppers and Oatmeal. Not a great diner . . . honestly, the food kind of sucks. But always a fun place to hang and just watch the people go by. As my neighborhood became more gentrified, so did the clientele here. When me and my ex rolled in, at first, we were always the only non-black people there. After a couple years, we were the only non-hipsters. Oh well, that’s NYC. This place will always be magical for me.
Barney’s Breakfast Bar - Amsterdam, The Netherlands. My first stop, each and everytime I roll into Amsterdam. Not only are they the purveyors of the fine fine Sweettooth bud, but they actually make some darn fine food too. Plus, the place looks like it’s straight outta Middle Earth. During high tourist season, the place is packed. My advice, stay up all night, and hit it in the morning. They open at 6AM. I’ve always loved it, and it was the first place I ever at Quorn (the controversal vegetarian fungus meat-substitute). It’s an Irish style diner, which means heavy on the eggs and beans. But my absolute favorite part? A little plastic bong at every booth, along with the ketchup and napkin dispense. That and the daily vegetarian specials, which were always so so so so good (especially when you’re soaring). Oh, I miss Barney’s. I’d go there just for the food too, now that I don’t toke.
Mickey’s Diner - St. Paul, Minnesota. A classic. Ask anyone from the Twin Cities, they love this place. Best part about dairy country is the golden buttermilk pancakes. Unbelieveable.
Jake’s Country Kitchen - Tian Mu, Taipei, Taiwan. I haven’t been to this place in 18 years, but friends who hit up Taiwan always tell me it’s still rockin, serving up the best American style breakfast in all of Taiwan. It was here that as a fat 8-year old, I developed my crush on pancakes and omeletes. This place was such a center of the American community in Taiwan, perfectly recreating that feel of a small town neighborhood diner. My first diner that I can truly remember, all the way out in Taiwan.
Oh, I’ve got so many great diners on the tip of my tounge, I just can’t remember them all! Here’s a couple of random NYC ones that I always dug: Sarge’s, University Diner, Alpha Donut, The Stop Inn, Ben’s Best, and . . . I had to say it, the Carnegie Deli.

Now I just gotta find a diner to call home in Austin. I’m really diggin two places lately. Magnolia Cafe and Kerbey Lane, which everyone in Austin digs. Me too.
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I ran 7 miles today at the Midwestern State Univerity Lake Sail trail. Unbelievable. A beautiful geese-filled lake with a great trail run all the way around. I felt very special to discover it, and then proceeded to go crazy. I think I might have hurt my calves a little by overdoing it . . . but I had to run a lot, especially after eating all that pie!
(i’m actually eating a slice of coconut cream right now that I bought for a midnite snack. oh, i’m such a glutton.)

I also checked a place called Brahm’s today. What is this . . . an Oklahoma thing? It’s lik an ice cream parlor that sells groceries and all it’s own dairy products and also makes burgers and chili dogs. Oh well, I had some ice cream . . . meaning that I’ve been eating ice cream, frozen custard, or pie nonstop since I’ve been here. I luv it.

Peace and salutations, kids.
madteds

I felt intensely depressed today. I think it’s like a cycle, every month of so, I just feel kind of down. As I get older, I’ve been more aware of it, and I just know that I need to stay very social when I get like this, or else I’ll just hang out by myself and get even more sad.

I’m glad that I can recognize this depression a lot better now, it makes it easier to work around. And plus, I realize it’s not real depression, just a funk I get into that will go away the next day.

But tonight, I got to hang out with some good friend and my kid sis, who’s really grown up in the last two months and that makes me happy. Hanging with silly boys who have so many sad girl stories of relationships gone sour makes me laugh. I can’t help but realize how trivial my own girl problems are when I hear about other peoples, especially guys who are ultra-horny and think about getting girls non-stop.

I realized something today though, when talking to my kid sis. I’ve never really been the aggresor in a relationship, I always kind of let it come to me. Like, I’ll make the first move, but after that, I just let the girl wrap me up around her finger.

Maybe I should stop dating girls like that. Yeah.
I’ve also never dated a Christian girl before. I don’t know why, but all the Christian girls I’ve ever met were just so boring and I always felt like I freaked them out so much, it never happened. But I wonder what it’s like.

Ho hum, this is silly, frivolous talk.
I know, deep inside, all this dating yakety yak is just silly mental molting.
Love is love, and when you feel it, nothing else matters.

I miss being in love.
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Here’s a dope old school jam from Tek 9 featuring Butterfly that’s been running through my dreams all week. Enjoy.

What a week it’s been, I can’t believe it’s almost Friday.
I like this feeling, when things are hectic and stessed. Not too stressed, but just kind of busy, you know?
It’s like when I’m not that busy, I get kind of crazy and do a lot of stupid things. But when I’m stressed, I focus and get the right things done.

So, the highlight of my week. My best friend, whom I speak to only sporadically and havn’t talked to in a number of months emailed me. I really dig it.

True friendships reign over time, right? I don’t have to worry about getting back to them, they don’t have to worry about getting back to me. Cuz we’re cool like that, and that’s why they’re my best friend.
(little teddy secret, I like to call everyone my best friend. But P, you know you’ll always be the one and true)

I’m all thrown off this week. My yoga instructor has pneumonia! Yikes! So, I had to take an “normal” yoga class. Harrumph. I’ve become too much of a yoga snob.
But really, I just hate taking classes with more than 5 people in them, and I hate having to do all the easy poses and wait for the instructor to adjust the beginners. It’s cool, I just feel like I’ve done my time and want to move on. So, I had to take a giant class with 20 other people. Class was good, no matter what, any little bit of yoga always helps. But, not being able to work on my advanced postures with an instructor this whole week has really thrown me off my game. I feel unbalanced, you know?

But today, I went for a early morning workout with my trainer, and afterwards, I felt so good, I decided to run another 3 miles on my own, after a one-hour power session. Why is it so easy to exercise in the morning?
But I think I wore myself out, because . . . I fell asleep in class today. Oh no!
(but that’s nothing new. I fall asleep all the time, even when the class is really interesting. That’s why I like to teach and not be the student, because then I won’t fall asleep!)
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Yes yes. The Rockets are 1-0! Way to go. Keep it up, and don’t lose any games for the rest of the year!

Check out the new kid, Stro, dunking like thunder. Yeah, just like that.
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One of my favorite former students emailed me today, with a lot of love, which made me happy. What didn’t make me happy was the fact that her email was full of curse words! Golly!
Oh well.
(honestly, remember how fun it was to curse when we were kids? it was so bad, i got a chill down my spine every time I’d say the F-word, or the S-word, or my favorite, the MF-word! But now, it’s not as fun. I guess cuz you don’t get in trouble for it anymore. Heck, when no one’s looking, I say the MF word to myself in the mirror all the time just for kicks. Honestly, it’s one of my favorite words. Too bad it’s sooooo nasty.)
So, big ups to my students. Curse away, do it while you’re still young and while it’s still fun! You silly potty-mouth kids.
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Shout out to kids who call me up on the phone. I dig that style.

time for slumber.

madteds is ghost

Dear Digable Planets,

Seeing you in concert Monday night for the first time culminated a lifetime dream. Since 1993, when Reachin, dropped, I’ve been a fan. I dug that sound, but you guys didn’t tour anywhere near Texas. I liked the album, felt the vibe. But at the time, I gotta say, Dr. Dre’s The Chronic and Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle were the two albums I was feelin the most.

Then, in the summer of 96, a big year of personal growth, I rediscovered by Reachin cassette. This was my time at NYU film school and interning on fun NYC film sets. This was also my introduction to the NYC nitelife, club-culture, and massive drug use. It was a fun summer.

My fondest memories involve coming down in the wee hours of the morning on a balcony overlooking Union Square. The sun slowly came up, the city came to life, but the swirls and patterns that I saw didn’t fade. We had a boombox on that balcony, and only one tape rocked it. Yours.

That Reachin tape changed my life. I was an insect, slowly coming out of my cocoon, seeing the world for the first time, making movies, kissing girls, stealing stuff, working my butt off, partying till dawn, and running the big city.

And I remember how transcendental your music was. The jazz, the pops, the swirls. Coupled with lyrics enacting social-change, civil rights, a call to make the world the same beautiful, free, funky place we all imagine in our hearts.

Then it was back to college. And I had to come down a little and become human again. But I still kept what I learned. I still rocked the cool-out vibe, and believed that my role in this life was to make the world a better place. And I bought the new album, Blowout Comb.

To be honest, it took me years and years and years to really get this album. I listened to it again and again and again. Heck, I think I even bought it 3 times on account of various roommates lifting it from me.

This album raged with raw hooks, phatter beats, and a coolness that shed the rose-colored happiness of the first album. Now, you kids had truly grown. Calling for even more specific action, evoking the Black Power movement. The album was a revolution. And I loved it.

I listened to this album non-stop for years and years, always hoping that I could live the life you lyrically wove. I kept my ear to the street, I stayed true to the cause, I respected individuality, I sought to fight oppression, I shared no love for instigators or granolas, but respected direct action. And most importantly, I tried to do it all with that same slick style.

Heck, I even lifted your lyrics for almost all of my student films, weaving non-sensical worlds in which my characters fought for the right to funk, aliens crash-landed with 70’s style, and everyone talks with a hipster jive.

And as I grew, I realized you guys had too. The breakup was inevitable. You guys won the grammy, and it was obvious that as individuals, you guys all had other plans. I kept my ear open, I followed it. I checked C-knowlege’s Cosmic Arkestra at Lion’s Den. I hopped onto Ladybug’s solo stuff. And I even watched Ishmael’s silly weed-delivery short films. You had to do your own thing. That’s cool, so did I.

But in the back of my mind, I was still the idealistic kid, sitting on that balcony, passing a faded plastic-bong around, and reciting “ask butter how I zone. Man, Cleopatra Jones.”

And as I tried to make my own impact in this world, I always knew that my role was to promote social justice, to fight the good fight, to carry on the revolution you always sang about.

First I joined the dot-com world, thinking it’d be cool to help start a company dedicated to online documentary filmmaking. That didn’t work out too well.

Then, I became a public school teacher in one of the poorest neighborhoods in the nation. I put my money where my mouth was, took the pay cut, and started working with children who were always pushed out of mainstream society. I mainly taught math, but I also tried to impart computer science skills, film skills, and general confidence in their own abilities. It wasn’t easy, but it was fun. For the first time in my life, I was actually doing it. Making the world a better place, and every day, seeing the small changes I was enacting.

And I loved it.

And I still rocked to your beats, even though it’d been years since you’d pumped out anything new.

Now, I’ve moved on from the classroom, and am back in the Ivory Tower, working on a doctorate so I can make a bigger difference, taking your charge to the next level. I felt I was only touching a couple lives at at time in the classroom, now I’ll have the opportunity and charge to enact even greater social justice. And deep down, I’m trying to do it all with the same funky swagger.

So.
12 years later. 2005. Here I am, and you guys have reunited.
And I roll to San Antonio to check your show, with all the things in my life that have changed since I first bought that Reachin cassette tape in 11th grade.

And I gotta say, as dope as the show was, as awesome as it was to hear a roomful of kids yell out every line to “Cool like dat”, I’m a little dead inside.

12 years later. Why’d you guys get back together? As much fun as it is as a big big fan, I can’t see any other reason other than cash money. You barely played any new joints. You sleptwalk through your old songs. And that dope swagger . . . where is it? What happened?

Rosa Parks passed away this week, I thought you guys would have thrown down a moment of peace or something. Nothing. Just ripping through the songs, working the crowd, and being . . . typical rappers. What happened to the social justice? What happened to the melodic rage? What happened to black power?

I’m deeply disappointed. I was right there, hugging the stage, watching you, my idols from youth . . . now washed up, older, but not seemingly wiser.

You seemed to be there to milk money out of kids like me, people willing to pay money for a moment of nostalgia. But you didn’t really have much more to offer. You hadn’t grown with the times.

Maybe I built you up too much in my mind. Maybe the time’s have been a lot rougher on you than on me. Maybe I’m just venting my own frustrations about my own aging.

But, I realized after the show, that Snoop Dogg, as much as he seemingly raps about silly things like weed, girls, and cars, might be a much much more powerful cultural force than you guys. Isn’t that silly? He’s grown with the times, and ten years later, still rips it with an intensity and freshness that we first saw 12 years ago.

But . . . I feel kind of lost. Here you are, years later, one of the key inspirations from my youth. And when I finally saw you, I realize . . . you’re just a couple of rappers. Pretty good rappers. But not much else more.
I grew up and got better.
Hip-hop grew up and got better.
Why didn’t you?

And that hurts.

old and bitter madteds